Age disparity in sexual relationships

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Significant age disparity in sexual relationships has been a feature of couples in many cultures and societies. The most common pattern in heterosexual couples is an older man with a younger woman. This may be brought about as an arranged marriage, or either member may pursue and initiate the relationship. Relationships involving a younger male and an older female also exist, and while not as common, have become considerably more common in recent years.[citation needed] Homosexual relationships of both sexes may also exhibit age disparity. In extreme cases, age disparity may be seen as dysfunctional (a paraphilia) if such relationships are pursued to the exclusion of all others and to the detriment of the partners. The term alphamegamia can be used when a person is sexually aroused by partners of a different age group[1], and "chronophilia" can describe a sexual fixation on members of a different age group.

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Factors leading into a search for a younger individual with whom to share an intimate relationship can vary wildly. A common perception is that younger mates serve the purpose of a "trophy", or object of status.

Many psychologists study the phenomenon of age disparity, and have observed certain extremes of this behavior.

  • Chronophilia is a general term, applied to any age-related preference.
  • Ephebophilia is the attraction of older individuals to adolescents, a phenomenon generally not assigned a separate term in most cultures unless it is between adult males and adolescent boys.
  • Infantophilia is the attraction of older individuals to small children (ages ranging from 0 to 5).
  • Korophilia is the attraction of an older woman to younger men or adolescents.
  • Pedophilia is the attraction of older individuals to pre-adolescents.
  • Teleiophilia, a generally unused term, is the attraction of adolescents to adults of the opposite sex.
  • Gerontophilia is the attraction of non-elderly individuals to the elderly.

There is also the issue of whether all age-disparate relationships fall under the definition of paraphilia. Individuals who exclusively pursue age-disparate relationships are generally classified by psychologists as parasexual, that is, their behavior is qualitatively different from the norm. Individuals who occasionally pursue age-disparate relationships are not included in this category, except in the popular press. As is speculated with other practices considered paraphilia, sexual imprinting may play a role in age-disparate relationships.

In some societies age-disparate relationships are seen as aberrant or even perverse. Historically, the "gold digger" mentality, when one member of a couple uses the other romantically or sexually because of his or her material wealth and social power, has been frowned upon as being akin to prostitution. The age difference that is generally accepted by modern Western society varies directly with the age of the individuals involved in the relationship; larger differences are more acceptable with older individuals. For example, while an eight-year difference might be considered unacceptable between a 23-year-old and a 15-year-old, it is less remarkable between a 30-year-old and a 22-year-old, and generally unnoticed completely between a 58-year-old and a 50-year-old. In many cases, the younger person would feel uncomfortable in being in such a relationship. In online communities, such as in chat rooms, some users, particularly females, may feel uncomfortable being contacted by a much older member of the other gender, even though the latter person may have merely wanted to chat and not even be interested in a relationship. On some social networking services and rate-me sites, some members may feel uncomfortable if there are many members who are much older.

However, this is less common on online games (such as MMORPGs), as the main function of an online game is not as a chat room, and the role-playing atmosphere may cover up the age difference.

Graph of the "Half-Your-Age-Plus-Seven" Rule
Graph of the "Half-Your-Age-Plus-Seven" Rule

The "half-your-age-plus-seven rule" is rule of thumb defining a mathematical formula to judge whether the age difference in an intimate relationship is socially acceptable.[2][3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] Mathematically speaking, the rule is:
{\cfrac{\text{Age of Older Individual}}{2} + 7} < \text{Age of Younger Individual}

A number of slang terms exist to describe pairings in which one individual is much older than the other:

  • Boy toy or toy boy is sexual slang referring to a much younger boyfriend or husband of an older woman or man. It can also refer to the Stock Aitken Waterman song performed by Sinitta.
  • Chickenhawk describes an older gay man who sexually pursues younger males, i.e. "twinks"/"chickens" or underage boys. The term was used as the name of a television documentary on the subject of NAMBLA.
  • Cougar refers to an older woman, usually in her 30's or 40's who sexually pursues younger men. Term used by TV comedies 30 Rock and How I Met Your Mother (episode "Aldrin Justice"), motion picture movie Oceans 13, and the NBC reality TV show Age of Love.
  • Jailbait refers to a particularly sexually attractive person, female or male, below the legal age of consent. This designation connotes enticement to endanger oneself of being prosecuted for statutory rape.
  • Lolita refers to a sexually precocious young girl who is the object of desire of a significantly older man. As used in the English language, the term refers to the title character of Vladimir Nabokov's novel Lolita, who is referred to by the book's narrator, Humbert Humbert, as a nymphet. While "nymphet" is still used to refer to younger children, "Lolita" has come to be applied to older adolescents and young women in the context of pornography.
  • May-December romance is a romance in which the age differential between the two adults is wide enough to risk social disapproval.
  • MILF (Wiktionary link) - (Mother/Mum I'd Like to Fuck) refers to mothers (or middle-aged women) who attract the sexual attention of younger men. This acronym was popularized by the movie American Pie[citation needed] and is frequently referred to in pornography. It also occasionally spawns analogous letter-ILF acronyms.
  • Sugar Daddy refers to a rich, usually older man who offers money or gifts to a less rich, usually younger person in return for companionship or sexual favours. This differs from prostitution in that the older man is usually the sole financial provider to the younger person. In Japan, there is a loosely similar practice known as enjō kosai.

  1. ^ Sex Dictionary
  2. ^ [1] Judy Steinberg and Raechel Donahue, "Fabulous After Fifty And Sexy at Sixty!" Plume paperback(2006), ISBN-10: 0452287375 .(page 35:"The seven year rule is a pretty good yardstick. Pick a man who is half your age plus seven.") retrieved July 24, 2007
  3. ^ [2] Danchai Mekadenaumporn, "Sex and the Saferide. Better with Age." The Tech (newspaper) , Massachusetts Institute of Technology vol 142, issue 3, February 10, 2004. retrieved July 24, 2007
  4. ^ [3] Catherine E. Toth, "About women: Not dating may reveal the secret to what dating's really about." The Honolulu Advertiser November 12, 2002. retrieved July 24, 2007
  5. ^ [4] Stuart Peters, news and current affairs commentator, online column, Manx Radio, Isle of Man, July 24, 2007. retrieved July 24, 2007
  6. ^ [5] "A Double Cohort digression." The Silhouette McMaster University, Volume 74, Issue 4, September 11, 2003. retrieved July 24, 2007
  7. ^ [6] Lerwick Trevor, "Golden Jubilee NHS National Hospital." BBC Scotland, January 31, 2007. retrieved July 24, 2007
  8. ^ [7] "xx and xy" "The High Hard One: a sex column" The Amherst Student," the newspaper of Amherst College, November 10, 2004. retrieved July 24, 2007
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