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“Chains”
Blackadder II episode
Blackadder & Melchett in chains
Episode no.	Season 2 Episode –
Written by	Ben Elton Richard Curtis
Directed by	Mandie Fletcher
Guest stars	Hugh Laurie Mark Arden Lee Cornes Max Harvey
Original airdate	20/02/1986
Episode chronology ← Previous Next → "Beer" "Series 3"
List of Blackadder episodes

"Chains" is the final episode of the BBC sitcom Blackadder II, the second series of Blackadder, which was set in Elizabethan England from 1558 to 1603.

Power mad and self professed 'master of disquise', Prince Ludwig the Indestructible kidnaps Lord Blackadder and Lord Melchett. They escape his clutches but Prince Ludwig infiltrates the palace during a fancy dress ball. In the confusion Nursie is killed... or is she?

Blackadder and Melchett are kidnapped by the Spaniards and held for ransom. Blackadder does not speak Spanish so he and the Spanish torturer engage in a lengthy game of charades to determine the exact threats and mode of torture ("If I admit that I'm...head-over-heels in love...with Satan and all his little wizards, then you will...remove my testicles with a blunt instrument (which he learns moments later is a scythe)...and roast them over a large fire." "Si! Si!"). Prince Ludwig the Indestructible interrupts just as the torturer is about to get started on Edmund; when Edmund does not recognize him, Ludwig reveals that he was once disguised as Big Sally, a waitress at The Old Pizzle in Dover. Edmund is horrified: "But I went to bed with you, didn't I?"

Lord Melchett is dragged in screaming; when Melchett does not recognize him, Ludwig reveals that he was once disguised as Flossy, a sheep, at a monastery in Cornwall. Melchett is horrified: "But...didn't we...?"

Queenie's reply arrives, announcing that she has decided to spend the ransom money on "a biiig party." Ludwig agrees not to torture the two men in exchange for information on how he can get into the palace during the costume party. When he leaves Blackadder and Melchett escape and make their way back to England, arriving just in time for the party. Queenie is dressed as Henry VIII and Baldrick is a pencil case. Edmund promptly stabs and kills Nursie, who is revealed to be Prince Ludwig in disguise (Nursie always dresses as an unconvincing cow and Ludwigs disguise is too convincing), and saves the day... After the credits, we see that Blackadder has been murdered along with Baldrick, Percy, Queenie, Melchett and Nursie. Ludwig is seen standing over their bodies disguised as Queenie and holding a blood-drenched dagger.

• During the ending credits, Edmund finally catches the balladeer and drowns him in the fountain

• The unique location of this episode is the German dungeon where Blackadder and Melchett are imprisoned.

As with all the episodes in this season, there is a distinct song sung describing the story in that particular episode. In this episode, it goes:

"Beware all ye who lust for fame.

The path of life is most uncertain.

Prince Ludwig thought he'd won the game.

But now the Kraut's gone for a burton.

Black Adder, Black Adder. He beat the Hun by luck.

Black Adder, Black Adder. He's smarter than a duck.

Lord Melchett, Lord Melchett, intelligent and deep.

Lord Melchett, Lord Melchett, a shame about the sheep."