Go Johnny Go Go Go Go

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Go Johnny Go, Go, Go, Go is a comedy fictional card game from the television series, The League of Gentlemen from the Series 2 episode, "A Plague on Royston Vasey". The sketch scene it appears in was written as a parody of many complex card games, and the players that enjoy these games.

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In a late night card session, it is suggested that the group play a round of 'Slippery Jack' or '40 Card Drag' - two equally fictitious games which are unknown to the Doctor. The game of "Go Johnny Go, Go, Go, Go" is then put forward and we're reminded that apparently "It’s like a cross between Hoover and Eight Men Down" - again, fictional card games.

The highly complex rules are quickly (and comicly) outlined to the Doctor who remains highly confused throughout. We are informed that:

  • Jacks are worth ten
  • kings are worth three - apart from one eyed jacks which are wild cards
  • Round one you get a hand of nine, round two a hand of seven…
  • Two’s a wild card apart from diamonds which retain their face value, except the king of diamonds ("obviously").
  • You play in sequence unless you can match a pair or play a card in ascending or descending order
  • That’s a "Go, Johnny, Go, Go, Go, Go."
  • You stand up, pick up all the cards on the table and shout “Go, Johnny, Go, Go, Go, Go!”
  • The winner is the man with the most tricks after fifteen hands

The Doctor is informed that he'll "pick up the rest" as he plays and is told to start the game. Unsure of what he's supposed to do he mistakenly puts down a 3 before being quickly scourned for his poor choice of lead card "This is Go, Johnny, Go, Go, Go, Go, not Bamalama-Fizz-Vaj!"

Later the show returns to the game and the Doctor (by chance) achieves a Go, Johnny, Go, Go, Go, Go after placing a 3 down. He's then told - to his surprise - that he must now name pairs on the premise that "Well if you put down a three then you must have pairs!". He's also told that he can't now look at the cards and that remembering his hand is "the whole point".

The game is similar to many other invented card games in TV and fiction. Other such games include Fizzbin, Spat, Mornington Crescent, Calvinball and of course the other card games mentioned in the sketch. In this respect, it is not designed to be played in a competitive manner. However, it is possible to play out the sketch with 3 players tricking an unsuspecting 4th player. This manner of joke is similar to The Aristocrats or No soap, radio


  • The name comes from Chuck Berrys 1958 hit Johnny B. Goode
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