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Glasgow patter or Glaswegian is an anglicised urban Scots dialect spoken in and around Glasgow, Scotland. The Glasgow patter has evolved over the centuries amongst the working classes, Irish immigrants and passing seamen in the dockyards. The dialect is a west central lowland Scots dialect, and features a varied mix of typical Scots expressions and vocabulary, as well as some examples of rhyming slang, local cultural references and street slang.

The Patter is used widely in everyday speech in Glasgow, even occasionally in broadcasting and in print. It often reflects the Glasgow sense of humour. 'The Patter', as with all dialects, is constantly evolving and updating itself, forever generating new euphemisms, as well as nicknames for well-known local figures and buildings.

Michael Munro wrote a light-hearted yet accurate and informative guide to Glasgow Patter entitled The Patter, first published in 1985. With humorous illustrations by David Neilson, and later by Paisley-born artist and playwright John Byrne, the book became very popular in Glasgow and the rest of Scotland, and was followed up by The Patter - Another Blast in 1988, with The Complete Patter, an updated compendium of the first and second books, being published in 1996.

In the 1970s, Glasgow-born comedian Stanley Baxter famously parodied the patter on his television sketch show. "Parliamo Glasgow" was a spoof language teaching programme where Baxter played a language coach, with various scenarios using Glaswegian dialogue were played out for humorous effect.

In 1997, Jamie Stuart, a Church of Scotland elder from the High Carntyne Church, produced "A Glasgow Bible", relating some of the biblical tales in the Glaswegian vernacular.

Popular Scottish television comedies like Rab C. Nesbitt, Chewin' the Fat and Still Game also provide reference material, as well as having contributed popular new expressions to 'The Patter' themselves.

Many more examples in the The Complete Patter (1996) by Michael Munro:

• Bawbag — Literally a scrotum, also a fool. e.g., "You're a bawbag!".
• Baw-hair — Pubic hair. Also referred to as a small measure of distance. "That buckie bottle missed ma heid by a baw-hair"
• Bottle merchant — Collector of "ginger bottles" aka, "gingies", which have a monetary value (20p) upon redemption to a retailer. "awrite mate? any gingies?"
• Bucky/Buckie — Buckfast Tonic Wine - cheap, strong, fortified wine.
• Castle Greyskull — Affectionate term for the home ground of Rangers F.C.
• Cleek — To refer to picking up a partner of the opposite sex ie "Did you get a cleek?", cleek being the Scots word for a hook or crook referring to the linking of arms. A more colourful theory is that it originates from late night kissing couples on tenement doorsteps and knocking milk bottles to make a clinking sound.
• Electric soup — see buckie, also a Scottish comic book. More generally, anything more alcoholic than tasty. To 'be on the electric soup' has an implication of loss of faculty.
• Ginger — Any carbonated soft drink, though particularly a bright orange fizzy drink called "Irn-Bru". Also refers to someone with red (ginger) hair.
• Haunders — A helping hand in a playground fight, e.g "Gie's haunders": "Please give me a hand".
• Jakie — A tramp or destitute alcoholic.
• Jeg — Any carbonated soft drink. (Mostly notably Irn Bru) also known as "juice", though clearly not containing any such fluid.
• Mad wi it — Phrase meaning drunk or intoxicated. "He's mad wi it"
• Mental — Tough. That guy is mental.
• Mintit - Cool/amazing, for example Aw, that's pure mintit (That's so cool).
• Nip — To nip someone is to "pull" them; "A'm nippin her the night", also known as "lumberin". Can also refer to French kissing, or a measure of whisky.
• Numpty — Idiot.
• Nurra — Another, for example gie's a nurra (give us (me) another).
• Particks — A term for breasts which came about through a number of slang words and a pub (The Partick Smiddy) "Oh ay, she's gettin her particks oot the nou"
• Pelters — With gusto. As in "He gien me pure pelters roon the back."
• Pure dead brilliant - rather good
• Scooby — Clue, rhyming slang from Scooby Doo.
• Skoosh — Any fizzy soft drink: "A coud murder a big bottle o skoosh!" A skoosh or skoosh-case is something that is done with no great effort: "A tried tae convince aul' greetin-face the flittin wad be a skoosh-case but ye can tell her nuthin'." To skoosh something or skoosh it is to accomplish it with ease: "Just concentrate on yer three-point turns an ye'll skoosh that drivin test." "Skooshed" is another word for drunk: "He wis that skoosht ye coudna make oot a wird he wis sayin."

Words are often strung together in writing, making it less intelligible to outsiders, as in:

• Ayeamurr — (Ay A'm are) Yes I am.
• Geezabrek — (Gie's a brek) Give us a break.
• Nawamurnae (No A'm arna) — No I am not.
• Sarerrterr - (It's a rare tear) - a highly enjoyable event/excursion.
• Whityedaein? (Whit ye daein?) - What are you doing?

Also, some nicknames for Glasgow, Glasgow buildings, suburbs/new towns and well-known figures:

• No Mean City — The theme tune to the detective series Taggart, sung by Maggie Bell. Often used to describe other cities as well as Glasgow, and the title of an early 1970s album by the band Nazareth. "No Mean City" is a metaphor for Glasgow's turbulent immigrant past and 1950s gang culture (Tongs Ya Bass).
• The Rottenrow — otherwise known as the Glasgow Royal Maternity Hospital (now demolished), named after the street of the same name.
• Polomint City — a nickname for the new town of East Kilbride on the outskirts of Glasgow — so called for its high concentration of roundabouts.
• Lazarus Lally — Lord Provost and councillor, Pat Lally.

• Firstfoot's dictionary of Scots slangWarning: contains certain expressions which may offend
• Glesca Glossary, fairly thorough online dictionary Warning: contains certain expressions which may offend
• Glasgow Dialect
• Lexicon Planet, featuring excerpts from The Patter
• The Online Scots Dictionary

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