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Progress Quest
Developer(s)	Eric Fredricksen
Latest version	6.2
Release date(s)	2002
Genre(s)	Parody of MMORPGs
Mode(s)	Zero players
Platform(s)	Windows

Progress Quest is a Windows computer game created as a parody of EverQuest and other massively multiplayer computer role-playing games. It is loosely considered a Zero-player game, in the sense that once the player has set up his artificial character, there is no user interaction at all; the game "plays" itself, with the human player as spectator.

Progress Quest parodies computer role-playing games, especially EverQuest, for what many gamers consider to be uninteresting game play. EverQuest, among many other MMORPGs are infamous for their "auto-attack" combat system where players press a button to initiate combat mode and from then on there is usually little to do other than watch; Progress Quest mocks this with its "fire-and-forget" mode of gameplay. Progress Quest also pokes fun at traditional RPG races, classes, stories, quests, items, and more.

The program was made available by Eric Fredricksen in early 2002. Fans quickly joined in on the parody by submitting numerous fake reviews to several popular freeware download sites and game review sites giving Progress Quest the highest scores possible.

The game displays the character's stats on the screen, including several progress bars representing how far the player character has advanced in the game. The character gains experience points, items, and encounters monsters. Items are then sold at a profit to purchase new equipment, relative to the character's level. There are also quests that are part of an overall "plot progression," adding a new chapter after each previous chapter has been completed.

On starting a new game, it presents the player with a few options, such as what race and character class they want their player character to be. Stats are rolled to determine Strength, Constitution, Dexterity, Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma. Players start off with subpar equipment, eventually earning better weapons, armor, and spells.

Nearly none of the above-mentioned character statistics and equipment has any effect on gameplay, however. The only exception is the "strength" stat, which affects carrying capacity, indirectly influencing the speed of level gain.

Contents 1 Plot 1.1 Equipment 2 History 2.1 Press 3 See also 4 External links

The story tells of the history of Grumdrig and the creation of the realms. Currently there are five realms: Knoram, Expodrine, Oobag, Spoltog, and Pemptus. The latter two are still open, but Knoram, Expodrine and Oobag were permanently closed to the creation of new characters upon the arrival of Pemptus, which, being the newest realm, launched on February 8, 2007. The story mimics convoluted fantasy plots, using archaic and made up words such as "aberdoxy". The following is the backstory given on the official website: [1]

Since time before time the Vorlak had held the Crosshutch at Thraeskamp. The ancient reckoning held that the Five Skrelkampi (and their Truebine) would return when the great Trond-feast could be held anew and the Belnap reunited. But this legend became lost to all but the Papperboxen at Horbug. One of their own was Yallow the Speldrig, who found an unlikely pupil in Torbole Understeady, the discarded illigitimate waif of Wainthane Topknox, whom Yallow renamed Grumdrig and began to school as a boar-pulmet's apprentice. ...And, as it was said by some, in aberdoxy.

As our story opens young Grumdrig has returned to Horbug following a trying stint in Spilwaer Spond where his laconic disposition and fertile mind bred a series of misadventures which had landed him outside the good graces of the Jordref there, Welham, who had secretly begun a long term course of slow but disaccomodating illpeel in the lad's morning fanwael. Meanwhile, though scarce a tuft of mansefur had yet made its appearance on the boy's manssach, a number of visiting Roilwachhs have begun to exhibit a discreet and seemingly inexplicable interest in the boy. Strange indeed, as he would not reach his krouchensterm for another harvest or more. And when Grumdrig's resilient compatriot Paedri appears at Grumdrig's lochnotat with a Scrolstamp from the old Speldrig, a woozy foreboding feeling rises from his young gut...

All equipment in the game is randomly given out as a reward for several instances in the game such as completing a quest, killing a monster, leveling a character, and especially when at the market, in which the character uses gold from the loot to 'upgrade' his or her equipment. These items usually consist of two adjectives and a noun. Like the games Progress Quest mocks, these items have statistics and the adjectives are variables describing the item. The character level is used to determine what stats each item has. Each adjective and noun is given a value, and all values add to the player's level.

A level 89 player may have a set of +66 Holy Titanium Vambraces which can be rewritten as 66 + 4 + 19, which adds up to 89. Another example would be +54 Festooned Banded Plasma Gambeson, which is rewritten as 54 + 3 + 2 + 30, which equals 89. Thus, when a player receives an "upgraded" item, it is really not an upgrade at all, as the item is of the same value every time, which in itself is one of the biggest mockeries that Progress Quest conveys.

Players may choose to create an account offline for their own enjoyment, or create an online account that allows their character stats to be saved on a ranking website. This allows characters to compare their accomplishments with others while trying to achieve a higher ranking on their respective realm. Players can also join guilds of Good, Neutral, or Evil alignment in certain realms, though there is no benefit for doing so.

The game has been upgraded several times throughout its history. One particular upgrade added shaded bars to the screen, which caused some players to refer to the new version as Progress Quest 3D. On the game's official forums, a popular in-joke leads newbies to believe that there exist Silver, Gold, Platinum or even Diamond-encrusted DVD versions of the game which have enhanced 3D graphics. Fake "Progress Quest" screenshots from other games, obscure 3D RPGs, helped spread this rumour.

1. Morgan Webb (2002). Download of the Day: 'Progress Quest'. TechTV. Retrieved on February 16, 2006.
2. Dan Norton (2002). Baking a Progress Quest. Flak Magazine. Retrieved on February 16, 2006.

• Idle RPG
• Catassing

• Progress Quest official site
• Progress Quest at Yahoo! Groups
• Progress Quest at GameFAQs
• Progress Quest Companion — Fan site (out of date)
• Progress Quest Stats Macro Tool — For rolling character stats (functional only on Knoram and Expodrine)
• Progress Quest spell conversions for use with Dungeons & Dragons 3rd Edition
• Review of Progress Quest
• Progress Quest at MobyGames