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"Suicide Is Painless" is a song written by Johnny Mandel (music) and Mike Altman (lyrics), which is mostly known for being featured in both the movie and TV series M*A*S*H.

The lyrics were written by 14-year-old Altman for his father's film M*A*S*H. On an appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson in the 1980s, Robert Altman said that Mike Altman earned more than a million dollars for cowriting the song while he only made $70,000 for directing the movie. In addition to being sung by Johnny Mandel over the film's opening credits, the movie also features a scene that begins when Walter Koskiusko Waldowski, a dentist nicknamed “Painless Pole,” declares his intention to commit suicide, and the song is sung by Ken Prymus (playing Sergeant Seidman) during the suicide scene. At least two instrumental versions of the song were used as the theme of the TV series, in which “Painless Pole” was mentioned, but never appeared.

First released in 1970, it belatedly became a number one hit in the UK in 1980 after being championed by BBC Radio 1 DJ Noel Edmonds. The refrain is well-known:

Suicide is painless,

It brings on many changes,

And I can take or leave it if I please

Contents 1 Cover versions 2 Trivia 3 See also 4 External links

• Bill Evans recorded a jazz piano trio version of the song for You Must Believe in Spring, an album posthumously released in 1981, having made it a staple of his live sets for some years.
• Manic Street Preachers released a cover version as a charity single to help The Spastics Society in 1992. It was their first UK top ten hit. See Suicide Is Painless (MSP single).
• Marilyn Manson, well known for recording cover versions, did a version for the soundtrack of Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 in 2000.
• Matt Costa, singer-songwriter from Huntington Beach, California, covered the song on his six-track "The Elasmosaurus E.P." in 2005.
• Barði Jóhannson and Keren Ann cover this song on their collaboration called Lady and Bird.
• Royal Trux recorded a version for the BBC John Peel radio show in 1993. It was later released on a Royal Trux compilation called "Singles, Live, Unreleased." On the compilation the song is titled "Theme from M.A.S.H."
• Ahmad Jamal recorded an instrumental jazz-funk version of the song on his 1974 release Jamalca titled "Theme From M.A.S.H."
• Killarmy sampled the music for their 1997 track "5 Stars" from the Silent Weapons For Quiet Wars album.
• Kelis does her own interpretation of the song in her latest single "Lil Star" (with Cee-Lo, from Gnarls Barkley).

The refrain also is heard in the Family Guy movie Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story, when a drunken Stewie sings it to Brian at the Drunken Clam.

The song appears in an episode of Family Guy titled, "Stewie B. Goode" (Orignal air date 5/21/2006) when it was sung, by Stewie Griffin, to Brian at the Drunken Clam(This episode was part of the larger movie referenced above).

Similarly, a drunken Toby Ziegler absently mumbles the song to himself in the West Wing episode The Stormy Present, while flying to the funeral of a former president on Air Force One.

In the 20th issue of The Sandman comic book series by Neil Gaiman, the character Element Girl sings this song to Death while asking to be released from life.

• List of songs about suicide

• Suicide Is Painless

Preceded by "What's Another Year?" by Johnny Logan

UK number one single May 25, 1980

Succeeded by "Crying" by Don McLean

v • d • e M*A*S*H
Film:	MASH
TV series:	M*A*S*H | Trapper John, M.D. | AfterMASH | W*A*L*T*E*R
Characters:	Hawkeye Pierce | Trapper John McIntyre | Duke Forrest | B.J. Hunnicutt | Henry Blake | Sherman T. Potter | Frank Burns | Margaret Houlihan | Charles Winchester | Radar O'Reilly | Father Mulcahy | Maxwell Klinger | Igor Straminsky | Luther Rizzo | Sidney Freedman | Col. Flagg | Spearchucker Jones | Ugly John | Walter Koskiusko Waldowski | Ho-Jon | Lieutenant Dish | Donald Penobscot
Episodes:	Season 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11
Books:	M*A*S*H: A Novel About Three Army Doctors | M*A*S*H Goes to Maine
Related material:	Guest stars | Differences between book, film and TV versions of M*A*S*H | Suicide Is Painless