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Troilism is the act of two people performing intercourse while a third watches. A common example is a husband watching his wife have intercourse with another man. This scenario is part of the swinger lifestyle, and varies depending on the participants.

Two of the parties are related, such as a married couple. The third party comes from outside the relationship, and can even be a stranger to the couple. Although the couple is usually separated, it is possible for the third party to be the observer.

Like many parts of the swinger lifestyle, there are no set rules for performing troilism. Sometimes the observer pleasures himself, other times he waits for delayed gratification; sometimes he watches from a few feet away, other times he watches in another room through a video camera. Illegal troilisms involve hiring a prostitute for the act, prostituting one member of the couple, one member of the sex act not knowing a third party is watching, and rape or forced participation of any combination of the parties. These illegal acts can often be role-playing scenarios.

Troilism was first coined in the 1941 edition of Dorland’s Medical Dictionary where it was classified as a paraphilia. It was not clear why this scientific name was chosen.

A simple examination of the word obviously indicates the French word trois (three). A similar French term, ménage à trois (household of three) was coined in the late 19th century. Although both terms involve three people, ménage à trois implies a romantic link between all three, which is quite different than troilistic scenarios.

A more interesting origin was noted in Take Our Word For It, ^[1] a webzine published by the non-profit Institute for Etymological Research and Education. It was theorized that troilism actually comes from Shakespeare’s Troilus and Cressida. In it, Ulysses forces Troilus to watch his lover, Cressida, with another man. Troilus promptly dismisses his former love as a whore. (Prostitution or “acting like a whore” is a common aspect of many acts of troilism.) Although this explanation is quite interesting, the French root is probably correct.

• American television program How I Met Your Mother. In episode 2x07 ("Crazy Eyes" AKA "Swarley"), Barney recounts a story of dating a girl with "crazy eyes." On their date, she suggests they have a "threesome" with her teddybear, Mr. Weasels. When asked if he went through with it, he adamantly denied it, explaining that they had a "twosome with the third one watching from a chair."

• Ménage à trois
• Threesome
• Swinging
• Voyeurism
• Sexual roleplaying

1. ^ Issue 93. TIERE (17 July 2000).

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